The downward spiral

Let’s talk about those days when you feel like nothing has gone your way since your feet hit the floor. We’ve all be there. You wake up and discover that your lip cracked overnight because you forgot to slather on vitamin-e oil or fill up the humidifier before bed. Oops and ouch. You wake up and step on the dog’s half-chewed, semi slimy bone. Instantly annoyed. You wake up and suddenly remember you’re out of milk. Why me? You whisper to yourself as you reluctantly close the fridge and walk away in defeat. You wake up and there are ten emails beckoning for your immediate, undivided attention. It’s one of those days. There’s no light at the end of this tunnel! Blah. Bleak. There isn’t a single Brené Brown quote that can pull you out from under this rock of recluse. And from this moment forward, the rest of your day becomes an uphill battle. A downward spiral, a self-perpetuating race to the bottom.

If you’re not careful, you’ll spend the rest of this day overthinking, analyzing, and belittling the action or inaction that brought you to this state. That once-considered dope lamp you recently salvaged from a flea market? What a waste! That new crop top you couldn’t wait to wear? Who cares!! The dog wants to go on a walk? Now’s not the time, fido!!! Negativity has become your nuance to shame. You’re spinning in circles and standing still all at the same time; immobilized by the utopian paradox you’re conditioned to believe should always exist. Until it doesn’t.

For these instances, I’ve got good and bad news. The bad news: it all originated in your mind. The good news: it all originated in your mind. And you have the power to change your own mind. You can press reset on your whole day, outlook, and mood. You just have to decide that you want to. I’ll be the first to admit that this can be easier said than done. But I also know from personal experience that it’s doable and achievable.

Here’s what helps me:

Music—Music has the ability to instantly improve my mood. I created a couple of Spotify playlists specifically for these kinds of days. Turn it on, tune in, and wait. Before I know it, my toes are wiggling and I’m saying things like, “Ooh, honey, yes. This is my jam!” aloud. Don’t hold it in. Shake it out to St. Paul & The Broken Bones? Don’t mind if I do. The next thing I know, the funk coming from my speakers is pulling me out of my funk.

Exercise—I’m not talking about taking it to the extreme and running a marathon or killing a Crossfit workout. I’m talking about going on a walk. That leisurely kind of exercise that gets your blood flowing and elicits a tingly feeling in your legs. Stay with it. Take the lyrics from the song Sunday Best by Surfaces for example:

Ay, feeling good, like I should

Went and took a walk around the neighbourhood

Feeling blessed, never stressed

Would the writers of this song lie to us? Never! As hard it can feel to get up and get moving when you’re in this state of mind, it can be helpful. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain and also trigger a positive feeling in the body. Gimme all the good vibes.

Crossword Puzzles—Why turn to something trivial? It takes your mind off of the difficulties you’re experiencing. It distracts and disrupts your focus and forces you to be present. What’s a 5 letter word for “followers of pigs and cows?” Who freaking knows but at least I’m not thinking about how disappointing my day has been. Let your mind roam and brainstorm and brave the wilderness of word games. Get lost in the trivial pursuits that Will Shortz serves up on a daily basis. You can thank me later.

Other tips that may help include: kissing my dogs and holding them close as they struggle to get out of my grasp, journaling, painting, reading. Pretty much any kind of activity that interrupts my thoughts and shifts my attention.

Just remember: all doesn’t have to be lost. I don’t know everything nor am I a student of psychology, but I do know that you don’t have to give in to the negativity. You can overcome it. Shake your booty, go outside, solve a riddle. And if you try and continue struggling to find a ray of hope, that’s okay too. I suggest talking to a counselor or therapist. They can help you heal and move forward with a newfound feeling of resiliency. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

Final thoughts: Yolo isn’t a healthy mantra. We don’t only live once—we live every day. Make ‘em count while you can. Even the sh*tty ones.